How the Mutants Saved Christmas
by Matt Briddell
Summary: The X-Men have to save Christmas when Santa gets snowed in at the North Pole. Know how I said this would make sense later on? Forget about it!
1. Chapter 1

It was a week before Christmas. A winter storm had descended on Bayville, covering the town in a thick white blanket. Because of the suddenness of the storm, Principal Kelly had made an uncharacteristically generous decision and cancelled school for the day. This was very welcome news for most, but not all of the residents of the Xavier Institute.  
  
"Great," muttered Logan, switching off the radio. "Just when I thought I'd be getting the day off, the kids wind up stuck at home,"  
  
As if a tormenting demon had heard his complaint and decided to visit Logan with further torture, Jamie suddenly ran into the room, grinning from ear to ear.  
  
"Hey, Mr. Logan! Did you hear the news?" he shouted jubilantly. "School's been cancelled! Isn't that great?"  
  
"Yeah, great like a trip to the dentist," Logan said under his breath.  
  
Jamie scampered out of the kitchen to spread the news while Logan picked up the paper, hoping to read that a war had broken out somewhere. However, the world had decided to remain at peace, at least for the time being.  
  
Logan flipped the paper over to the weather section to see how long he would be snowed in for. He was interrupted by Storm, calling him from the living room.  
  
"Logan, could you come in here a minute?" she asked.  
  
"What's up?" he asked as he walked into the living room.  
  
"Take a look at this," she said, gesturing at the TV. Logan saw a weather map displayed on the screen. "See where this storm's coming from?" she asked.  
  
"Yeah," said Logan. "This could be a problem, if it's as bad as they say it is,"  
  
"We'll know soon enough," said Storm. "If he needs us, he should be calling right about,"  
  
She was interrupted by the phone in the kitchen ringing.  
  
"Now," Logan finished for her. They both got up and went to get the phone, leaving the weatherman on TV talking about the massive blizzard that was originating at the North Pole.  
  
A few minutes later, Logan hung up the phone. He turned to see Xavier wheel into the kitchen with a concerned look on his face.  
  
"Is it as bad as we thought?" he asked.  
  
"Worse," said Logan. "He's completely cut off. There's no way he'll be able to make it this year,"  
  
Xavier sighed. "Assemble the students," he said. "It looks like we may have to save Christmas,"  
  
Next time: Yes, somebody at the North Pole is a mutant, but it's not who you might think. Plus, Logan tells everybody what HE wants for Christmas! 


	2. The plot gets wierder

Xavier gathered the X-Men together in the living room.  
  
"X-Men, we have a bad situation brewing," he told them.  
  
The young mutants immediately began trying to discern what the situation could be.  
  
"Magneto's recruiting more mutants?" guessed Jean.  
  
"Juggernaut's on the warpath again?" ventured Scott.  
  
"Power failure at the mall?" This from Kitty.  
  
"We're getting cancelled?" asked Jamie. Everybody gave him a funny look.  
  
"Jamie, for the last time, you are NOT living in a TV show!" said Ray crisply, annoyed at the latest phase the youngest of the mutants was going through.  
  
"Our situation is far worse than your fears, real or imaginary," Xavier said, and turned on the TV. The weather map showing the massive blizzard appeared on the screen again. Everybody looked at the TV a bit confused.  
  
"Ok, it's a big blizzard. So?" asked Kurt.  
  
"Look at where it's coming from," said Logan.  
  
"The North Pole. So like, what does that have to do with anything," said Kitty.  
  
Jamie suddenly made the connection. "Oh no! If there's a blizzard at the north pole, then Santa won't be able to deliver presents on Christmas eve!"  
  
"Come on, Jamie, when are you gonna grow up?" asked Ray.  
  
"Actually, Ray, Jamie is correct," said Xavier.  
  
Ray looked at Xavier dumbfounded.  
  
"See, I TOLD you Santa was real!" Jamie said. "Wait a sec, he's a mutant too?"  
  
"No," said Logan. "The reindeer are," Everybody looked at Logan like he had had one too many beers again.  
  
"Well, c'mon! How else are you gonna explain a flying reindeer!"  
  
"Oh yeah," said Ray sarcastically. "Why didn't I think of that?"  
  
"Listen up, bub," said Logan. "We got a real problem on our hands with this. If Santa's stuck at the north pole, then NOBODY is gonna have Christmas this year. So it looks like you can kiss that rocket-powered pogo- stick goodbye for another year,"  
  
"Alright, I believe you!" said Ray. "So what do we do?"  
  
"Fortunately, Mr. Claus was prepared for this emergency," said Xavier. "He keeps most of his presents stored in various secret locations across the globe, to be delivered by his regional affiliates. As you can imagine, he's getting on in his years, and he can't quite make it around the world in one night like he used to be able to do. These days, he usually just goes out for certain deliveries,"  
  
"Where are these storage locations?" asked Scott.  
  
"I'll show you," Xavier said. He picked up the remote for the TV and pressed a few buttons. The bookcase on the wall swung back to reveal a large computerized map of the world.  
  
"Woah!" Kurt exclaimed. "I never knew THAT was there!"  
  
"Does this place have any other secrets?" asked Bobby, already making a mental note to steal that remote sometime.  
  
"Oh, one or two," said Xavier jokingly. "A chamber here, a labyrinth there, you know, the usual sort of things you'd expect to find in an institute for the gifted. Ah, here we are," he said, pointing at the map where several area had been designated.  
  
Scott looked up at the map, surveying the locations of the storage areas. "Hmm, looks like one's somewhere in Nevada, near Las Vegas, another's in Australia, there's one in Egypt, Russia, Scotland."  
  
"Hey, wait a minute!" said Jean. "Those sites have the same coordinates as alien sightings!"  
  
"Hey, she's right!" said Evan. "The Pyramids, Stonehenge,"  
  
"And Area 51," said Scott, glowering at the events of his previous visit to that facility. "What's really going on here, Professor?"  
  
"This will be a little difficult to explain," said Xavier. "The whole thing is an intricate web of lies, deceptions, and misinformation. To make a long, complex story a little easier to figure out, a branch of our government, along with similar organizations that exist around the world, is aware of Santa's existence, and they maintain these storehouses in the event of an emergency like the one that we're facing. To maintain a façade of legitimacy, they fabricate evidence of UFO's and extra-terrestrials to keep the public in the dark about the truth,"  
  
"Great. A Santa conspiracy," said Ray.  
  
"To some extent, yes," said Xavier. "Nobody knows that mutants are involved in this, even though they are just a few reindeer. That's partly why Mr. Claus has requested our assistance,"  
  
"Why?" asked Kitty. "Doesn't he trust these government guys anymore?"  
  
"No, he does not," said Xavier. "He is afraid of their reaction if they were to learn the truth, they would abandon him, or worse. Not only that, but he is afraid that they will steal the technology that he has developed to allow him to do his job for the last 500 years,"  
  
"Wow," said Kurt. "This is just getting weirder and weirder,"  
  
"You said it," said Evan.  
  
"Mr Claus has sent us schematics for his special engine. It will allow you to travel faster than the speed of light and successfully make all your deliveries in time," said Xavier. "We are currently preparing several sleds for you to use, and you will be split up into teams that will operate at various points around the world,"  
  
"Who's going where?" asked Scott.  
  
"I've already made the assignments," said Xavier. "You and Jean will be responsible for North America. Amara, Roberto, and Bobby will handle South and Central America. Rahne, Kurt and Kitty will cover Europe, and Sam, Rogue, Jubilee, and Ray will be responsible for Asia,"  
  
"What about me?" asked Evan. "Don't tell me I'm stuck here while everybody else gets a free vacation!"  
  
"Not quite," said Storm. "You'll be going with me to Africa. While we're there, you'll be able to learn something about your heritage,"  
  
"Great, Auntie O," Evan said. On second thought, being stuck at home didn't seem all that bad.  
  
"That should take care of everything," said Xavier. "Pack your things and be ready to leave as soon as possible. As a reward for this most unusual service, I've arranged for all of you to enjoy a vacation in the countries you'll be visiting. All the necessary arrangements have been made. Dismissed,"  
  
"I wonder if Santa will let us come up and visit when this is all over?" Kurt asked Kitty as they stood up to leave.  
  
"Don't bet on it!" Logan called after him. "He's got enough elves up there already!"  
  
The X-Men all filed out of the living room, except for Logan and Jamie, who sat moping on the couch. Xavier noticed Jamie lingering behind. "Is something wrong, Jamie?" he asked.  
  
"I didn't get any assignment, Professor," he said. "I guess I'm still too young to go on a mission,"  
  
"I see," said Xavier. He checked his list twice and realized his blunder. "Oh dear, I seem to have forgotten something,"  
  
"What's that?" Jamie asked hopefully.  
  
Xavier ignored him for a moment and turned to consult Logan. Jamie listened to their conversation discreetly.  
  
"Chuck, are you sure that's such a good idea, sending him out by himself like that? It's a long ways away,"  
  
"I know, Logan, but it's a small country. I doubt he could get in any serious trouble down there,"  
  
"Alright, Chuck, if you say so," Logan whispered, and walked out of the living room.  
  
"Actually, Jamie, I do have an assignment for you. In all the commotion, I forgot to assign anybody to deliver in Australia and New Zealand. Now, I know that covering a whole continent by yourself might seem a bit much, but I think you should be able to handle this all by yourself,"  
  
"Yay!" Jamie shouted, and ran off to pack.  
  
Later, in the hanger, the X-Men were loading their luggage into their sleds and preparing to depart, when Logan walked in. He was carrying a bag full of small, gift-wrapped boxes, which he handed out to all of the mutants.  
  
"What are these?" asked Kitty?  
  
"Early Christmas presents. Open 'em up," said Logan.  
  
They all unwrapped their boxes and saw that they contained identification cards.  
  
Rogue took a close look at hers. The picture looked right, but a couple statistics were a little off.  
  
"Logan, something's wrong. I'm not 23," she said.  
  
"I know that," said Logan. "It's a fake ID,"  
  
"Why are you giving us fake ID's?" asked Kitty.  
  
"Those are for when you get MY Christmas presents," said Logan, giving one of his rare smiles. "Just in case you see something you think I might like,"  
  
"Logan, does the Professor know about this?" Jean asked.  
  
"No, and he doesn't need to," said Logan, matter-of-factly.  
  
"I really don't think this is such a good idea," Jean stressed, already imagining the trouble some of her fellow mutants would likely get into with their new presents.  
  
"You don't expect us to buy you beer for Christmas, do you?" asked Kitty.  
  
"You'll do it, or it's double danger room sessions for a month!" Logan threatened. "Now, I've got to get going. Any last minute questions?"  
  
"Yeah. What country are you going to?" asked Ray.  
  
"Russia,"  
  
"Gee, I wonder why," said Kitty.  
  
Logan leaned in close to her. "For your information, half-pint, Russia's home to one of the best sports in the world: bear wrestling. The fact that they make such good vodka is beside the point,"  
  
He climbed into his sled and prepared to take off.  
  
"Like, what should we get for somebody whose heart's two sizes too small?" Kitty asked Kurt.  
  
"I heard that!" said Logan. "I'll let it slide this time because I'm in the holiday spirit. Now hurry up and get going! It's almost Christmas eve!" he exclaimed, ere he fired up his sled and zoomed out of sight.  
  
"Ugh," Jean groaned. "Ok, everybody give me those cards. If Logan wants beer so badly, he can buy it himself. And Bobby, don't even THINK about trying to smuggle it out of here!"  
  
"Ok, fine," said Bobby sheepishly, handing over the card.  
  
"Alright, I think that's all of them," Jean said, throwing the cards in the trash. "Now, we'd better get going. Good luck to everybody. We'll see you on New Year's,"  
  
The mutants all jumped into their sleds and flew out of the hanger, leaving it empty except for one last sled.  
  
A few minutes later, Jamie walked into the hanger, carrying his suitcase behind him. "Great," he muttered. "Everybody left without saying goodbye," He loaded his suitcase into the sled, and as he was preparing to take off, he noticed a small box sitting in the sled.  
  
He looked at the tag. "To Jamie, from Logan. Wow! Logan got me a Christmas present!" he said. "Usually all he does is yell at me!"  
  
Although he was tempted to open it there and then, he decided to maintain the element of surprise and wait until Christmas day. He fired up his sled, and flew off into the night sky, headed for the land down under.  
  
Next time: The mutants have all kinds of adventures while saving Christmas. First up will be Kurt, Kitty, and Rahne. 


End file.
